


Pulled Down Deeper

by JamlessGenius



Series: the one where mayhem fall in love with concepts because people on Twitter make no sense [2]
Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Emotional Roller Coaster, Jealousy, Lee Minsoo Impulses, Lee Minsoo Is A Hopeless Romantic, M/M, Pining, Self-Doubt, Slow Build, jjolee supremacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27266674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JamlessGenius/pseuds/JamlessGenius
Summary: The one where Lee Minsoo is a slave to his emotions and loves slowburns but falls in love in a moment.
Relationships: Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Junsu, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Kang Dongho | D.Min, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld/Lee Minsoo, Junsu & Lee Minsoo, Kang Dongho | D.Min & Lee Minsoo, Kim Daehyun & Lee Minsoo, The most important tag: Minsoo X Slowburn
Series: the one where mayhem fall in love with concepts because people on Twitter make no sense [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971307
Comments: 9
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mediumcherriesbigswitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mediumcherriesbigswitch/gifts).



> For @mayniacsontwt who wanted minsoo to fall in love with slowburns.  
> TW for disordered eating.

Minsoo scrolls through another chapter, eyes watching characters take things slowly in scenes that his own patience would snap in. Minsoo likes stories. He likes fanfictions on stories. Especially the romantic ones.

His nails click against the phone screen. Young Minsoo didn’t care about other little boys calling him names or saying he was like a girl, he loved a slow build into a romance in a story. Still does. It’s funny, because Lee Minsoo is not a patient sort of person. But envies them. That they can move so slowly and think so much more clearly. 

Like all Lee Minsoo decisions on likes and dislikes, he took one good look at the trope and decided that slowburns were what he liked.

It should have been a fucking sign. 

Minsoo had decided he didn’t want to hear about his brother after one betrayal. It doesn’t really take much for an initial decision, but it does take something big to change it. Resentment can wave like smoke but something like that burns him too hard to wave it away. It’s funny, when the fire was there the whole time.

Take Ahn Jaewon, Wyld, whatever you want to call him. Minsoo had liked him, when they were trainees. Then Jaewon decided to branch out and more power to him-

But he made it blatant how little they meant to him. Aloof, uncaring of how his exploits damaged MAYHEM. Minsoo was civil, but the resentment is there. 

Ahn Jaewon, like his brother, got what he wanted. Ahn Jaewon, like his brother, lost interest in him.

He gripped on right but there wasn’t enough to grip on to. If his brother betrayed him, for all they had, what was stopping a guy he’s known for less than half that time? He’s waiting for the burn but he can’t hate him. Minsoo always does tangle himself in the same mistakes. 

Minsoo should hate him. And not in this enemies to lovers fanfiction sort of way like the bookmarks in his phone. He has every right to resent the member who is an active burden and gets the spotlight. But he can’t. 

He’s not sure why.

Why can’t he grip to emotions? They come and go and they slip and slide and like everything else he can’t control them.

He desperately wishes he had a handle on himself. And maybe in many ways he does. But of his soul, his most internal essence, of course that can not be controlled. Least of all by him.

Jaewon is clearly attractive, pearly skin that holds an otherworldly luster, brilliantly red hair that either falls in flouncy waves or an elegant curtain, and eyes that curl into his smiles. Slim, nearly elvish, features and large yet dainty hands. He is lovely in the way that you can not tell if you want to put him in your pocket or absolutely  ruin him. 

But what doesn’t sit right with Minsoo is Jaewon’s personality.

Minsoo would shamelessly admit that his eyes stray to Jaewon sometimes. He sees him alone, most often. Sometimes he fiddles with his clothes or just stays quiet. A part of Minsoo worries that he bores Jaewon, or makes him uncomfortable. He looks over his shoulder mid-fanmeet.

Jaewon, who is right now beaming at their fans. 

This is the unintentional charm that MAYNIACS make fun of. If the sexy vibe doesn’t snare you, or his performances, your last defense would be demolished by his innocent grins. One that makes him smile widely by reflex alone. 

He clenched his fist. Who cares? He can’t be the one to.

Jesus, now he sounds like Dongho.

* * *

Minsoo taps at the phone screen, eyes tracing the movement of his character. He knows what to expect if Ahn Jaewon is here with girls. He’s so weird, that he honestly suspects Minyoung-ssi to be a previous hookup. Daehyun clearly likes Minyoung too, too.

Sleeping with a bandmate’s crush, a new low.

He remembers that day a little later, when Dongho teases Minsoo for looking out at the attendees of a fanmeet and Minsoo has to respond. He always chooses him because Minsoo will rise to the bait.

But he sees them smile sadly, talking between themselves. And the return of why he can’t completely hate Wyld: Wyld does not completely suck.

He understands division between what you like and don’t like about somebody. He could feel it when his parents spoke about him.

And there was plenty to be bitter about there. Because he just couldn’t shove all of his small self into the mold because he was too big. Still, when given shoes to fill, he was too small.

Growing up, any message he ever received would tell him was that they doubted him. That they were exasperated with him. That they didn’t want to understand him, even if they ever could. He was the less-than. What good was he, really? Minsoo is not Minsung.

Minsung is what everyone wants.

And it hurt him, a bit. Sometimes he’d go days leaving his room only for meals to avoid conflict, or even skip those. And how sad was it that he heard laughter instead of yelling when he wasn’t there? Is he such a bad son? Such a bad brother? His parents put on supportive faces but Minsoo could practically see the truth in neon lettering.

All he does is leech off of other people. He hates himself for that. He hates himself when he moves out, and goes to train for a field his parents think he’d never succeed in, or gets a job in said field. And he gets it off of Minsung. He really is nothing, when he’s on his own. Minsung hates him too, for never being enough. Minsoo can’t even argue. Minsung is the one who’s good at things. Not him. He’s never enough. Never good enough.

* * *

He goes to the beach with Daehyun, and it’s a trip and a half.

Dongho isn’t there, it’s just them. 

He watches the waves, sees them crash against the shore. Joy takes him and throws him in the air. Minsoo is, after all, a slave to his impulses and emotions because they grip him and just refuse to let go. 

“Excited?”

“Yeah,” he says, eyes tracing the waters. He’s so like that sand, a small piece that’s so easily drowned and pushed around by an ocean. But it’s his ocean. His emotions drag him and drop him and knock him over. 

“Is that an email?” Daehyun points at his phone. It’s an update on a story he’d been following. The characters here don’t get ruled by their hearts with no checks and balances. They fall slowly and normally and he envies them. They haven’t held hands the way Minsoo would have grabbed his love interest’s hand. They haven’t fallen in seconds but they got to know each other. Things had time and it made them precious. Minsoo falls in love like he’s going to die tomorrow and live forever and it’s sickening. How often does his heart get broken?

“It is,” he says, and opens the chapter. “I’ll join you in a bit.”

“Is that an erotic novel on your phone? In public?” Daehyun asks, gleeful mischief in his eyes. 

“Wha- no!”

“What is it?” He climbs onto Minsoo. “You’re such a mystery now, hyung!”

“Get off of me!”

“A fanfic website? Oh. Well that’s less interesting,” Daehyun pouts. “Unless it’s still porn?”

“No! What the fuck, Daehyun?” Minsoo will lament about the phone he dropped in sand later. Daehyun climbs on him in the moment. The fucking anchovy. 

“I’m looking for something to talk about!” He raises an eyebrow. What a kid. 

“Did you mean tease me about?”

“Yup!”

“Ugh.” Why is he he even surprised anymore? Daehyun does not stop. 

“Do you read stories about us?”

He. Regrets. Everything. 

“No? Why would I?”

“Aww,” Daehyun sighs. “It would be so romantic if someone read stories about you?”

“I dunno, but it’d be creepy. Don’t do that.”

“Eh,” Daehyun shrugs, standing up and beaming at Minsoo. “Come and play in the water with me!”

Minsoo stands up.

* * *

A phone call? On break? You have got to be kidding him. Minsoo glares at the offending device and picks up.

“Hello?”

“Minsoo,” Choi greets. 

“Ah? Why the sudden call?” Minsoo asks into the phone, barely keeping his voice from rude. It’s not like this was an expected call. 

“You’re getting a dorm,” Choi tells him dryly. Minsoo stops short. His game character dies on his screen, butdoesn’t matter at the moment. 

“Wha-“

“D.Min requested one,” their manager says, voice snippy over the phone.

After all this time? There had to be a reason. 

“Why?”

“It’s not clear,” their driver practically shrugs with his voice. They’re in the same boat, him and the driver. What’s the point of them if they mean nothing? It makes him angry to think about and he just isn’t in the mood to feel angry.

“Alright,” he agrees, picking up a duffel bag. “Can you pick me up from mine?”

“Certainly, you have until five.” This was a real last minute decision then, wasn’t it. How annoying.

“That’s no time,” Minsoo argues. What’s got Dongho so desperate? He’s the most patient of all of them.

“Then I’m hanging up,” he says, turning off his phone. He bites his lip and turns to his dresser, if it’s a dorm, what he needs is much simpler. 

Packing his clothes into his back, ignoring the sudden memory of Minsung eagerly packing his own bags for the XR dorms. Nausea cuts the memory off. Can’t he be happy without thinking about this? Fuck, he really has been messed up by little brother syndrome. 

He returns to packing, in silence, alone with thought that gleefully tell him how little he’s worth. He tries for excited, instead.

By the time their driver knocks on his door, Minsoo has been finished for an hour. He isn’t sure if it’s anticipation or anxiety that glues his mouth shut instead of telling him to make a quip. 

The car ride is punctuated by Daehyun’s attempts at conversation. But Minsoo is quiet, still. He can pretend he doesn’t notice, but he does. 

Given the careful way Dongho is watching Wyld, he has his own answer for a why they’re getting a dorm. It’s to keep an eye on Jaewon, isn’t it? 

Minsoo bites his lip. Suddenly he’s starkly reminded of how little use he is as a leader. 

Minsung would have no problem corralling someone like Jaewon.

But he’s not-

Whatever. Now isn’t the time. Carefully, he opens the door to the new dorm. And promptly let’s himself just feel the wave of giddiness that crashes through him.

They have a dorm! 

So he falls into conversation with Daehyun, teasing and bickering and happy. He wants to be upset but Minsoo has long since learned that he feels quickly and without control, like a wave that’s knocks him over unexpectedly every time. So for now he can be happy. 

For now.

And then what? Then what’s going to happen. Minsoo is unsure but he spies Dongho and Jaewon whispering between themselves. 

But everything loses his attention when he’s told they are to compete against his brother. He has to plan because he can’t even begin to explain to them every emotion that sends his stomach spinning into knots and burns a bright red rage in his head and tickles excitement beneath his skin. 

He can’t explain that. So he plans. He schemes. He feels his muscles burn as he fills Daehyun’s guitar case but he does it. He swaps Jaewon’s coffee for water. He knows he’s being annoying. He understands that well. But if he does well, if he wins, Minsoo can put this all behind him. Well... he’s not certain of that.

But the burning determination has made him its fuel and Minsoo will burn to ashes if his feelings demand it. What else does he even have the power to do? Minsoo won’t fight against himself. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Slur usage, drinking, violence, actually mentioning pedophiles (ew)

They lose. He loses. 

Why is he even surprised?

Minsoo hates the crawling guilt that pricks up his spine and he hates the way he’s never enough and he hates hates hates.

Not that it matters to anyone else if he hates himself. He buries himself in his games.

Click, click, tap.

Click, tap, click.

Tap, tap, click.

He watches his character succeed and the people he games with cheer and it’s a sickening feeling in his gut, to know he’s only successful in fantasy. This fingers slide across the keys and he plays. If his head is here, it’s nowhere else and honestly? He doesn’t want to be anywhere. 

“Hey, Minsoo-“ 

A voice interrupts him, after a while. It’s gentle, careful. And an annoyance. What does Ahn Jaewon want with him? He stares at the screen.

“How long have you been playing?”

He won’t give up, will he? Minsoo tries to focus on his game. At least something good will come of that option. He’s brooding and he knows he’s brooding but- but he doesn’t want to care. 

“Do you want some coffee?” Jaewon tries to soldier on through his silence “Wait, do I have any left-“ he trails off. Than he leaves.

Good.

Was it?

Shaking his head, he refocused but not before he hears a door open again. A water bottle is placed on the table next to him and he hears the gentle crackle of plastic against wood.

“I’ll leave you alone now... but stay hydrated, okay?”

He does drink the water, fighting down memories of water bottles left by his computer by Minsung. Trusting him was the worst mistake Minsoo could have made, but Minsung had been his brother. Was still his brother. There is no reason for him to feel the same sort of fondness for someone who actively ruins him. He’s not sure if he’s being nostalgic or fond of someone who he doesn’t owe it to but he hates himself for it a little more.

Would splashing water on his face wake him up from such stupidity?

He gets up and goes to the bathroom. The water is cold on his skin and his eyes are rimmed with red. He looks like the emotional mess that he is. Minsoo turns away from the mirror and pads down the hall.

And returns to find his chair gone.

That sneaky little-

“Hey Jaewon?” He asks, innocent as you please. “Did you take my chair?”

Jaewon gives him what looks like an easy enough smile. The pale green bottle in his hands is-

“Do you want some soju? Yogurt flavor is your favorite, right?”

He sits down.

“I’m going to beat Minsung next time! For sure!” He exclaims, three shots in. Jaewon gives him a tight smile and he sighs at the hopelessly childish and impossible goal. He sounds like a cartoon villain, for fuck’s sake. “I said that last time... who am I kidding...”

It rings like a prophecy that he had known but been scared to utter all along.

“I’m never going to beat him.”

The alcohol and his own impulsivity make his mouth loose. He licks his lips and admits the secret he’s held on to because why the fuck not. It’s probably already apparent to Jaewon that Lee Minsoo in real life is not even that worthwhile. 

“You know... I never told anyone this, but... I don’t even deserve to be an idol.”

Spilling dirt that will probably land in someone else’s ear, as a joke or as a little detail to hand to a hookup. He knows this might be a mistake but at this point most of his decisions look like mistakes. Jaewon betrays no delight, just confusion.

“What do you mean?”

And he tells him. About how he used his brother’s name in a moment of desperation that if he couldn’t get out of the shadow at least he could use it and- 

“I guess I’ll always be behind him.”

“Hey,” Jaewon cuts in. “That’s not true. You deserve to be an idol. Minsung may have helped you get into the company, but you’re the one who worked hard to debut. You proved that you belong here. He had nothing to do with that.”

“I doubt it,” he chuckles. “Most of my confidence isn’t even real. I don’t feel like I belong here.”

“We’re in the same boat then, huh. You must have come a really long way in faking things. It’s a bit cheesy, but you burn so brightly that you seem unstoppable.” The compliment catches him bu surprise. His ears sear red.

“You think?”

“I mean if I’m the starting point?” Jaewon laughs. “Certainly.”

Oh-

Oh no.

Butterflies aren’t quite enough to describe the tingly nerves and rampant desire that catches him by surprise. For the things like holding the other man’s hand, hugging and cuddling, nose nuzzles and the cutesy things he sees all those characters do in their own relationships. Then there’s the much more primal desires that Minsoo doesn’t dare think about too much.

He’s so annoying. Lee Minsoo you giant gay idiot. When did you develop a crush on the womanizer? You could be attracted to him but you choose a crush instead? Where did he go wrong raising this gay disaster. Right- he is the gay disaster.

Where was his denial phase? His grief and his anger? He’s just disappointed in himself. 

Yikes, bro, of all the hot guys you’re around on the daily? 

He takes another sip of the soju. The world is getting fuzzy and he doesn’t want to think.

What’s the point in any of this? He’s emotional and falls for people way too easily and a failure and he wants to forget the buzz that leaves giggles in his mouth so he drinks. Getting drunk with someone who might actually make a move on him- no matter how aggressively straight Wyld seems to be he sets Minsoo’s gaydar off- is a terrible idea. It’s stupid but there aren’t really any hands on him until his half asleep and Daehyun slings him over his shoulders. Where was the anchovy’s strength when they needed it? When did he even get here?

He’s too drunk to care.

* * *

Jaewon was with Daehyun at a cafe, but apparently Daehyun had to run. He’d shot Minsoo a text, so there he was. His feet tapping along vanilla slabs of pavement to what Daehyun said was Jaewon’s favorite coffee shop. Jaewon was walking toward him with his hood up and a mask on when a commotion around a buff guy yelling at a man holding hands with another got in between them.

The buff guy starts talking a lot of shit about gays. Which is not cool. At all.

Minsoo wants to punch him. Minsoo is going to punch him. Minsoo heads over to punch him.

He gets beat to the chance. 

A guy with tattoos sprawling up his arms and neck lands a solid hit right in the nose. Oof, that’s gotta hurt. The man leans in and says in his ear, loudly enough for any passerby to catch.

“I’ve been a fag my whole life. I’ve gotten into fights every day. I know I can fight. What about you? Can you fight? Or just scare and push people around? You don’t scare me, I’ve fucked guys bigger than you.”

The crowd is absolutely silent. Some kids have their phones out. Honestly, this guy is a legend. Minsoo sees a few people applauding and might just join them at this rate.

The guy snarls and grips the tattooed man’s neck.

“Fuck you, fag.”

The dark man laughs, sneering. 

“You’re not my type. I like men, dumbass, that’s what gay means. I don’t do children- that’s plain pedophilia.”

And... oof. 

That had to sting.

“Hey man, you agree, right? Like, it’s a disgusting sin against nature, you look like a cool dude-“ He turns to Minsoo and tries to preach. Minsoo isn’t having it. He rolls his eyes and taps his foot, hoping he’ll get the message that he’s not listening. He doesn’t. So Minsoo has to take things into his own hands.

“Are you done?”

The guy stops, eyes wide. Rage builds itself in his chest and spills across his face, taking the place of the bored agitation. He doesn’t give a crap about this asshole and he’s trying to take Minsoo’s time after getting chewed out as some sort of bolster for his reputation or self-esteem or argument. 

And he’s just not having it. He’s lucky Minsoo’s not yelling at him. 

Minsoo doesn’t even acknowledge him and walks up to the guy.

“You need some hand sanitizer. Ass is ass, but you don’t know where that’s been.”

Aforementioned mystery man huffs a wheezy laugh.

“Jun” he greets.

“Minsoo. I’d say it’s a pleasure but I don’t think that dick can make any situation into one-“ he hears a sharp intake of breath from the crowd around them “-but that’s on him.”

“Ah, Jun!” Jaewon blinks, recognizing tattoo guy. He reaches up to place a bandage on the already-bruising knuckles, fretting like a worried mother. Jaewon... is surprisingly caring, isn’t he? Minsoo is realizing this only now, but he supposed he wasn’t even looking all too much at Jaewon, before recently. The rose colored glasses are on, but Minsoo is pretty sure he’d have realized this without the crush. The scene is actually pretty adorable. 

“Jaewon, keep the hood up,” the man- Jun- rebukes.

“Okay!” Jaewon beams, eyes curling gently.

And Minsoo is infatuated, tumbling head over heels so fast that he’s dizzy and it’s not fair. Why does he like him so much for literally nothing? It’s angering. But he’s warm and twisting inside with nervous energy because his emotions like to take turns playing with his nervous system. At this rate his nerves might just be frayed like old shoelaces. He’s already sick of feeling some days. But Minsoo is going to let himself be happy, he smiles at Jaewon.

“You know each other?”

“He’s my friend!” Jaewon smiles. And there are hackles raising here. This man is friends with Wyld, after all. But given the way he’s gentle with him, they way he takes no shit, Minsoo thinks he might like this guy. Even if he looks way too much like Dongho. Jun pats Jaewon gently on the head and goes back inside. A buzz of a message from Jaewon’s oddly silent phone catches his attention. Since when was a picture of them Jaewon’s lock screen? There are no messages, even from unknown numbers. Jaewon blinks at the message.

“Oh?”

“What’s up?”

“Dongho hyung asked me to meet with him at a chicken place. Wonder why?”

“And Dae was worried you would be alone,” Minsoo teases. “Want me to walk you there?”

* * *

He watches Dongho and Jaewon greet each other. Dongho looks... well if Minsoo had to name the expression in the softening of those vulpine eyes, he’d say that Dongho was worried. Given the way Jaewon was responding, he seemed almost... reassuring? Was Jaewon trying to reassure Dongho?

Minsoo feels curiosity burn as he walks away. If anything, he can ask Dongho. If there is a genuine problem with or about a member, Dongho would alert him. Right?

Something in him laughs at that naïveté. Minsoo knows all too well that it’s not how Dongho works. But he has been watching their conversation through a soundproof glass for far too long, he needs to go. 

Minsoo takes a look back over his shoulder, and then he takes his leave.

Daehyun is off somewhere. Dongho is with Jaewon. And he is alone. 

He watches a tree rustle in a wind, a force he cannot see but he feels and it shoves so hard that it forces you to see. Minsoo can relate, a pang of commiseration hits him until he realizes that it’s a tree, victim to an outside force. Minsoo has no one to blame but himself. 

He just has to hope this wind he caused dies out soon. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: playfighting, the a word, mentions of sex

Jaewon left to go visit his mom, he’d said. When Minsoo thinks about him, sticky feelings that climb and tighten in his chest play with him. What is Minsoo but a toy to those whims? 

His heart jumps. It dances in his chest. Minsoo feels it pound in staccato. A throb and then silence before the next one pierces him through.

It’s like his own body is always mocking him. But once again he’s swept by tidal waves that yank him off his feet and he’s feeling a million and one things, like the layers of paint that make a picture. One on top of the other until the canvas is buried alive.

He wonders if being blank means breathing. 

When Lee Minsoo falls, he doesn’t just fall. He throws himself downward because he’s hardwired to apparently hate himself. 

But he sees Jaewon smiling at his phone while their song bursts out the speakers and he doesn’t even understand the pure relief on his face but it makes something in his chest settle, for a moment. It’s not even his relief but... but it’s Jaewon’s. And maybe that means it can be.

Their song is drifting from his speakers and the caller is his mom and Minsoo can’t claim to understand a second of what’s going on here. But he can claim to understand the swell of warmth, the way he wants to cup Jaewon’s cheeks in his hands and plant lots of kisses on them. The way he wants to tell him that he’s just so happy that Jaewon is happy, that Minsoo can see a smile like that dance across Jaewon’s face quite so beautifully. He can claim to understand that desire and that swell of warmth. It doesn’t mean he can control it as the wave throws him from where he stands. That doesn’t mean he can influence the way his heartbeat accelerates until he can hear it in his ears. The way he really thinks he loves someone who hasn’t done anything and can’t even muster any resentment over it. 

Couldn’t they have gone slow? Gazes across the room at balls, crushes that melt like candle wax into love?

Not for Minsoo, whose flame is so intense and sudden that it evaporates. So intense and sudden that it’s scary. So intense and sudden that it’s able to destroy.

* * *

“What had you so happy, earlier?” Minsoo asks, pulling his knees to his chest. He’s spotted him sitting on the couch and took the opportunity to sate the curiosity of what relief had fueled a smile that acted as a balm for an ache that was never there. 

“My mom... I told her about our debut,” Jaewon smiles softly. Minsoo pauses. There’s a lot to unpack in that. 

“She didn’t know before?

“No, because of-“ Minsoo cuts off Jaewon’s sad tone. He knows already. Their own taboo.

“Of your scandals?” 

He feels a shard of fear that the moment is broken when Jaewon blinks, staring at him wide eyed for the briefest of moments. The gaping expression fades to a good natured grin.

“Yeah,” Jaewon laughs, tilting his head back. 

“You know, for someone as wild as you are, you act like a deer caught in the headlights,” Minsoo prods. Jaewon giggles.

“I’ve been compared to a cat or an otter but a deer is a new one,” he says. Minsoo bumps their shoulders lightly.

“Look at the way you stare when you’re surprised!” He snickers. “A forest creature!”

“Okay, but you remind me of a hamster. That doesn’t mean I’m trying to scoop you up in my hands,” Jaewon pouts slightly. Sometimes he gets like this, where he’s so happy that he forgets whatever inhibitions he has and plays along with them. He likes to think Jaewon is happiest then. 

Which means he has the freedom to tease him. Minsoo’s eyes narrow. 

“Are you calling me small, Ahn Jaewon?” Jaewon gasps, eyes blowing wide with fear that Minsoo isn’t quite sure is fake. He’s going to pretend- hope- that it is.

“Wh-what?! I wouldn’t dare-“

“Are you making fun of me?!” He leans in, and launches an attack, tickling that one curve of Jaewon’s elbow that was especially ticklish for no reason. 

It works, too. Jaewon positively shrieks, eyes and lips curling into laughter.

“Stoooop!” Jaewon whines, giggling. Minsoo pauses to grin at him.

“Aww, begging for me?”

“Wha- hyung!” Jaewon laughs. Minsoo joins him until they lapse into breathless silence.

Content, Minsoo leans in, resting a head on Jaewon’s shoulder. He smells like coffee and eucalyptus shampoo. Jaewon stiffens, then relaxes under his head. His nose is literally in Jaewon’s neck.

Minsoo knows that he is going to be humiliated over this later.

And later, when he’s lying in bed, he feels his brain picking apart every little way Jaewon laughed like the little pictures on a roll of film. His smile and the little flush on his cheeks. The way his face shifted and glowed with his giggles. Minsoo feels almost giddy.

He’d just  _flirted_ with Jaewon. 

As his heart decided to do its thing, the memory of Jaewon’s soft skin up against him flashes in his mind.

His skin is still tingling from the touch hours later. He can practically smell the eucalyptus shampoo.

* * *

“What if i told you how crazy you are?” Daehyun teases.

“I’d laugh in your face,” Minsoo huffs a laugh. “I’m crazy but I’m hot so who cares?”

“Who lied to you?” Daehyun’s smirk doesn’t last long.

“You fucking brat!” Minsoo wheels around, whacking Daehyun’s face and butt with his cheap plastic water bottle. It crinkles in protest every time it lands on Daehyun’s flat posterior.

“Makane abuse! Makane abuse! This is criminal behavior and makane abuse!” Their youngest howls so loudly that Jaewon peeks out the door to his shared room with Daehyun, flushes a brilliant red and shuts the door behind him. 

They stare at each other. Daehyun gets out from under him, a bright red spot forming on his chin.

“What?”

“What’s he upset about?” Shame paints itself with swirls of worry and droplets of anxiety, coating the bickering atmosphere of before.

“Did he misinterpret something?”

Their question gets answered by the sound of a phone ringing in Dongho’s room, five seconds of silence, and then a yell.

“I’M EXITING MY ROOM SO YOU TWO HAD BETTER HAVE YOUR CLOTHES ON AND HANDS OFF OF EACH OTHER!” Dongho shouts from their room. And oh-

Minsoo fucking chokes.

“He thought we were.... messing around,” Minsoo coughs delicately. Daehyun blinks, confused

“We were messing around?” Minsoo can feel a headache coming on.

“Having sex, coitus, fornicating. You know what I said, you utter dolt!”

“What?!” Daehyun shrieks with explosive laughter. It would be funny if it wasn’t Ahn Jaewon, the object of Minsoo’s big fat unrealistic crush, who’d seen them and misinterpreted them that way. Playboy habits huh- 

Oh, how he absolutely _hates_ the flash of heat that goes through him with that stray thought. 

“WE AREN’T FUCKING!” Minsoo desperately yells back. He’s very much available and a loyal Ahn Jaewon simp, thanks! “NOTHING LIKE THAT GOING ON HERE!”

“What were you d-doing, then?” A red faced Jaewon peeks out the door and oh- he’s so fucking cute. 

He’s not even mad. He’s just absolutely humiliated but he’s just gonna say this is fine and keep moving.

“He’s being a bully!” Daehyun pouts like the child he is and Jaewon and Dongho share a wary look before bursting into laughter.

“Are you okay, Daehyunah? Do you need ice?” Jaewon sobers when he sees the red mark from their play fighting. Daehyun shakes his head, embarrassed.

“Hyung and I play fight all the time, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s not like um- what you thought!” Daehyun laughs awkwardly. “Everything is fine. Uhm... can we just... forget that this ever happened?”

“Yes,” Dongho drawls, “like we’d ever be able to go on a radio show and say ‘Wyld thought Minsoo and Daehyun were having wild gay sex involving a plastic water bottle in our living room once,’ in a conservative country and escape unscathed.” 

“It’s the homophobic bitches’ fault,” Minsoo huffs. “It would be great press for us. I’m totally hot enough to fake date one of you!”

The tension snaps as they collapse with laughter.

* * *

He should have known it wouldn’t take long before the others noticed. 

“You’re going to have to stop that,” Dongho says primly over a cup of steaming tea. Minsoo slides down in his seat. It’s just them, but he doesn’t want to be heard. Or to have this conversation, either.

“Stop what?”

“Stop pining. Either fix it or get over the person,” Dongho sighs. Minsoo, however, does not sigh. He spits out his drink as unelegantly as he is apparently capable of. 

“What?”

“Finish what you start Minsoo,” Dongho warns. Minso is not too mature to laugh. 

“You’d know all about that, in a romance.”

“You’re terrible,” Dongho snorts. A smirk works its way onto his face. 

“And what are you?”

“I’m a sad song, but there aren’t any words in it,” Dongho places his mug down with a heavy clunk. He’s worried, but about what?

“Oh?”

“How can you put feelings into them? Actions, are actions,” Dongho frowns, worry lines etching cracks across his unbothered mask. Minsoo huffs.

“I hope you know how overdramatic you sound right now,” he says. “What’s bugging you?”

“Jaewon.”

“Jaewon? He hasn’t gotten into any scandals has he?” Minsoo worries at his lip. He hasn’t gotten any notifications or anything. Jaewon seemed to be in a good place- why now?

Dongho’s answer shocks him like sudden ice water, splashing across the table and stunning him into silence.

“We got a dorm because of a sasaeng of his. She broke into his place, and the cops didn’t believe him. He had to come to me.”

What?

He scans Dongho’s face for a tease or a lie. It’s horrifyingly serious. Then Jaewon having a sasaeng is terrifyingly true. Oh- oh this is about to get worse. Anxiety weaves threads of ice across the skin of his shoulders. He motions for Dongho to continue, sees hardening. Something is wrong, here.

“I asked Park about it and his first question was if a photographer caught a picture.” Dongho scowls. “He said it’s because Jaewon is always in trouble with the media. So I asked Jaewon what he knew. But there’s one problem. He acted the way he did with Marshmell-O.”

Minsoo frowns, remembering the way Jaewon practically leapt away from that Minyoung chick. The way Jaewon’s voice wavered in pitch. The way his eyes pleaded for someone else to just take him and put him somewhere far away from there. The resigned hopeless as he had to escape. The way he obviously faked being sick to get out of it. The way he was just-

“Uncomfortable as hell?”

“Yes,” Dongho frowns. Minsoo recognizes his need to be a leader in this moment, and he needs to push the subject. Dongho has information and Minsoo actually needs it. 

“The scandals?” Minsoo prods, feeling like he already knows the answer.

“Accidental more often than not,” Dongho states. But that’s feels wrong. Because well... what about the apologies?

“Accidents... then why does he own up to them?”

“Wish I knew. That’s what doesn’t sit right,” Dongho sighs into his drink. And that’s the root. Dongho trying to solve Minsoo’s problems to avoid whatever about the mystery that is Ahn Jaewon is bothering him. 

“So...”

“It’s possible that he lied that day. In fact, I think he did.” Minsoo places a hand on his shoulder, prodding a little more. Dongho frowns into the amber tea in his mug and Minsoo knows he’s upset. 

“What did he say?”

“That everything is an accident and that there’s nothing going on.” The words come out cold and feel like size twelve font in black type on paper. It feels practiced. Not like Dongho had practiced that excuse. Like Jaewon had. And that... well. Those words don’t sit right.

They sound like placating words. _Lying_ words. And that scares him.


	4. Chapter 4

Dongho and Daehyun had some sort of request. Minsoo has no real idea as to what it is, but they were dragging him along as their leader to Mr. Park’s office to make said request. 

He doesn’t particularly have an issue with it so he comes with them. Daehyun had apologetically admitted to him as they were walking that they could not find Jaewon and make a united front. But still, three is better than two, so they want him along. (He knew it wasn’t because of his leader role. He’s still glad that Daehyun admitted to bullshitting him.)

They stride through the hallways past large pictures of themselves and their albums. Dongho and Daehyun are talking between themselves and Minsoo honestly can not be bothered to listen in. His mind is still on his discussion with Dongho.

What if Jaewon isn’t a playboy? What if Jaewon really is the sweet guy that he’s been tumbling head over heels for-

Stop. 

But the picture of Jaewon laughing, stopped in time, takes over his mind. His stomach spins in a strange gleeful dance and his heart warms. Before he even realizes where they are, he’s at the CEO’s office.

Minsoo raises a fist to knock on the large wooden door when the sound of a voice makes him pause. There’s a meeting already in full swing.

And the walls and doors of the High Class Entertainment building are not soundproof.

“In a few days, we have scheduled for your childhood friend to come to our company.”

That’s Mr. Park. But who is in there with-

“A-Ahra? She’s coming?”

Jaewon? He’s there? 

Minsoo’s good mood fades in an instant. Was Dongho right about this? Were the scandals fake? And why were they not in the know?

“Yes,” their CEO’s voice is particularly slimy and it’s never, ever sounded like this to Minsoo before. “And I want a dating scandal. We need something fresh. I’ve had you do many club scandals- I want to try something else.”

“So a dating scandal?” Jaewon asks, confirming. The word scandal makes the three of them stiffen. Mr. Park does not sound particularly phased by those words.

“Are you saying you aren’t going to do it?”

“No... it’s just different. I thought you had said nobody else would be involved.” 

“You make scandals to help MAYHEM. People are naturally involved,” the laughing reply that Mr. Park gives feels way too flippant to him. “This is to get us all out of debt.”

“And if this is another push to bring us all out of debt, will I be allowed to stop?” Jaewon almost a sounds plaintive in this moment, like a prayer that will never be answered. But, oddly enough, it is. And it feels like false hope.

“If it’s the final push, we would not need as many scandals as we have in the first place,” Mr. Park sounds disgustingly sympathetic. Minsoo thinks it might be real and he isn’t sure if it would be worse if he was. “We’re far from there.”

“I understand,” Jaewon says simply. But there’s a determination hardening his voice. 

“Excellent. Until Ahra-ssi makes her appearance, I want another club scandal. But this time I want you to reject whoever comes on to you.”

The rest of their conversation fades to murmurs as they all take a collective step back. Minsoo is going to do something- he’s about to do something- he needs to do something-

It’s an impulse decision made to stop the other impulse. Because anger is burning white hot lighting and fire under his skin. Now, far too many things make a disgusting amount of sense. His vision is going red and he’s very, very angry. He’s utterly livid. He’s a million other adjectives for pissed. Minsoo is more live wire than person at the moment. He feels like he’s about to explode. 

He wants to barge in there and yell at Park.

He settles for dragging Dongho and Daehyun away.

At their bewildered looks, he shakes his head. 

“I will talk to him later. Just me.”

“Just you, hyung?” Daehyun bites his lip. “If it’s okay... I’d like to talk to him too-“

“He’s right,” Dongho cuts in, eyes weary. “Jaewon lied to me directly about this and he will probably be intimidated if he has to explain that to me. He regards you as a younger sibling and would not be comfortable explaining it to you. The three of us will literally send him running.”

Minsoo shoots him a grateful look. He knows that Dongho wants to ask Jaewon too, himself. It’s logic keeping him back. He lets out a deep breath and looks at them seriously.

“I’ll tell you two everything I can later. And if Jaewon lets me, I’ll expose the truth.”

* * *

“Hey Jaewon,” he looks up from his now empty mug of hot chocolate to smile at Jaewon. Their most skittish (and now, finally, he thinks he might understand why) member blinks at him.

“Ah, hyung?”

“Let’s talk!” Minsoo pats at the spot on the couch beside him.

“Oh, sure!” Jaewon sits next to him, looking far more comfortable than he used to. Minsoo vaguely wonders what changed. “What’s up?”

“The scandals are a lie, aren’t they.” It’s not really a question, and Jaewon recognizes that.

“What? I mean they’re not really true but lies-“

“Mr. Park arranges for them. To help the group.” Minsoo presses on. He’s not asking. “The three of us just learned about this today. And we weren’t told by someone.”

He lets the implication hang in the air heavily. Jaewon doesn’t look at him. In fact, he looks like he wants to run away. It hurts him just to watch it. 

“You’re trembling,” Minsoo finally manages to say. Jaewon looks at his hands.

“O-oh,” Jaewon chuckles weakly, a shaky smile slowly forming into a perfectly masking, a masterfully disguising one. Minsoo feels a little bit like can’t breathe when he sees it. How many smiles have been fake? He looks at Jaewon and asks for the truth very simply.

“So everything about Wyld, the scandals and playboy self, it was all a lie? It was all fake?”

“Yeah, it all was.” Jaewon doesn’t even look at him when he speaks. Minsoo reaches out and cups his cheek. He stares him in the eyes, silently begging. His head hurts. His heart hurts even more. His voice drops to a whisper.

“Why didn’t you ever say how bad it was? That Park did this to you?”

“I...” Jaewon’s scrambling now. Minsoo knows and he knows too much, and it’s like the blindfold he barely saw blurry figures through has been ripped off of him. He knows, now. His nails dig into his palms.

“Why won’t you admit it? You would do this behind our backs for us but not tell us?”

“How do you know you didn’t misunderstand what has been going o-“ Jaewon starts but that itself is such an obvious lie that-

That what? That he’s a failure as a leader and the one thing he’d been selfishly using to stay out of love was nonexistent. That Park has been using Jaewon for all of their gains and he hadn’t known.

That Jaewon had suffered in silence and he was probably the last to know. No, actually he’s probably the first one to know. Dongho wouldn’t have let it slide and Daehyun would never let himself stay quiet about it. They all have their own sorts of trauma, he knows. He knows, and still missed this. And it’s been so long, but he is still the first.

“I misunderstood nothing,” he interrupts. He wishes he had. Because he has the one power Jaewon doesn’t in this.

He could end all of this. Right now. 

He could make a tweet. He could expose everything and leave it.

The impulse to do so is intensely strong. What’s stopping him from doing it?

Nothing at all. Not a single thing.

He looks over at Jaewon. And he sucks in a deep breath. He has an idea.

“If I told the your truth, would you let me?”

“Why would you?” Jaewon laughs bitterly. “In the end, the truth means nothing when nobody wants to believe it.” 

Minsoo bites his lip hard enough to rip a piece of chapped skin. Jaewon isn’t wrong, and that’s the worst part. That knowledge settles like ice in his stomach.

“And if I did it anyway? Told the truth, I mean? This strategy isn’t even good for us- it’s ripping you to shreds. That’s not worth it. I don’t want to let this go on,” Minsoo states. Jaewon stares at him, eyes wide.

“Why?” The question is almost a murmur, but Minsoo hears it like thunder. He shouldn’t have to ask that.

“Because I... because I am your leader and hyung. And most importantly of all, I am your friend.” He grasps Jaewon’s hands in his. “I want to do it. But I won’t do it if you don’t want me to. I won’t hurt you with the media. You’ve put up with enough of that at this point.”

“And if I want you to speak out for me?” Jaewon looks up at, shyly playing with his fingers. “And if I want it but I’m scared that doing it will destroy our company and MAYHEM?” 

Minsoo laces their hands together and smiles.

“If that is the case? Well, then a tweet will be up in five minutes, and there will be million and one notifications buzzing on our phones in five and a half minutes, and there will be a couple of headlines in ten minutes. And as for me? I will turn both of our notifications off and sit back and watch people scramble to apologize to you.” Minsoo smiles at him gently. “Because you don’t need to fight for us this way, giving up yourself like this. And it’s such an easy thing for me to fight for you.”

Tears glisten in Jaewon’s (beautiful, pure, doe-like) eyes, but he blinks them back. Minsoo knows he would have wiped them from his cheeks in an instant.

“Do you think we will be okay without the scandals?” Jaewon looks at him with anxious eyes, a terrible fear that it was all for nothing flashing through them.

“I think so.” Minsoo says, and he puts a hand on his. “I don’t know if that MAYHEM will grow as fast as it was going when you made the scandals but... that is a sacrifice we would all make in a heartbeat.”

A sunny beam dances across Jaewon’s face and... and Minsoo hasn’t written a song in years. Not since the one from his botched XR audition. But he wants to write one now. He wants to put into music how beautiful that glowing moon-curve of Jaewon’s lips is. He wants to paint the way he finds the gentle tilt of Jaewon’s head adorable. He wants to express the way the shining of Jaewon’s dark eyes throw his heart into his throat. He wants to say and do a million things but not a single piece of art can capture his burning desire to kiss the probably-otherworldly Ahn Jaewon in this single moment.

So he turns away. And Minsoo writes a tweet, like he said he would. And another one. And another. Until he has a thread and it’s fine. It’s his official idol Twitter account and he’s exposing his company and this is fine. Really, it is.

Because he’s angry. He knows the why, but he doesn’t want to accept this. So he chooses not to.

Minsoo explains their debt, the lies behind the scandals, everything that’s wrong. Really, he wants to fight Park, to rip him to little pieces. But Jaewon’s hand is on his fist and he’s talking him down. And Minsoo won’t hurt Jaewon along with how much everyone else has. He can’t.

So fine, he won’t fight Park. But he what he will do is fight the press and the hate tweets.


	5. Chapter 5

The media explodes with Minsoo’s exposing tweets and MAYHEM ignore it with practiced ease. How many scandals have happened where they’ve had to turn off their notifications? Far too many. How many news reports have been made and they have just changed the channel? Even more. The four members of MAYHEM are masterful at scandal ignoring.

What Lee Minsoo, MAYHEM’s leader, _can’t_ ignore is the problem he’s currently being faced with.

A certain Kang Dongho has decided to pull him aside and try to awkwardly be a hyung, and neither of them are quite sure what they are doing. It shows.

“You... you have a crush on Jaewon, don’t you?”

That’s a bit of a... major understatement. Crush isn’t exactly the word for the way he wants to hold Jaewon’s hands and cup his cheeks and make him smile but... it’s close enough to the general direction of Lee Minsoo being absolutely fucking whipped for Ahn Jaewon.

So he nods.

“Yeah,” he settles on saying.

Suddenly, there’s a sound, all too familiar, that freezes Minsoo to his bones. It’s a choking cough, a screech of a shoe stopped in place, and a gasp. It’s Jaewon, in the wrong place in the worst time the way he always seems to be.

Jaewon’s eyes are wide with shock, and he’s staring at them. Even now, Minsoo can’t help but appreciate how beautiful Jaewon is.

“I’m just going to... leave,” Dongho says in the most respectful manner he can in this awkward as fuck scenario. Minsoo watches as Dongho nods and takes his leave. 

Which means he’s completely alone with Jaewon. And Jaewon is still staring at him, face rivaling his ruby red dyed hair in shade. He has nothing to do but admit it. 

“You... you... like me... that way?” Jaewon asks, voice almost disbelieving.

It’s really not much of a confession after months of pining and watching but it’s still a confession he can give. Minsoo sucks in a deep breath and nods.

“Yes. I do like you, Ahn Jaewon,” Minsoo says. “I like you a lot and at this point it’s probably much more than just a like.”

Almost as if a reply, Jaewon smiles brightly. He looks happy and peaceful in the moment. But he doesn’t say a thing. And Minsoo can practically feel what’s coming. 

Tension builds in his body as he braces for it. He’s waiting for it. The stinging slap of rejection.

But it just... doesn’t come. Jaewon doesn’t say anything at all. He just continues smiling at Minsoo. 

Minsoo looks up at his face. And Jaewon is still looking at him like he’s waiting for something. Like he’s waiting for Minsoo to continue speaking. Like he wants Minsoo to say something further. What if Minsoo pushed his luck? Minsoo bites his lip.

“If I asked you out, would you say yes?”

“Yeah,” Jaewon echoes what Minsoo had said to Dongho not even five minutes before. Minsoo keeps going, emboldened by the first answer.

“And if I asked you to be my boyfriend, would you say yes?”

“I would like that a lot.” Jaewon nods shyly, a gentle pink skimming up the skin of his face.

He’s really fucking cute and Minsoo’s heart is actually going to give out. 

Minsoo laces their hands together, and Jaewon absolutely beams. 

* * *

Jaewon is watching the news as Minsoo’s exposing tweets blow up. 

To Minsoo’s actual surprise, the post has resulted in a lot of new fans or views on their videos. Jaewon seems far less shocked by this development.

“It’s affecting us the same way my scandals did. People get curious, look into us, and get interested in MAYHEM. Besides, it’s just a less than morally sound business practice that is gonna get written off as a major media play, in the end. We’ll actually... we are actually going to be okay!” The last words come out disbelieving, like this is their best possible outcome for them. Because it is the best possible outcome for them.

“We are, aren’t we?” Minsoo murmurs. Jaewon smiles at his answer. 

“We are!”

“So what happens now? After all the dust settles?” Minsoo asks. Jaewon pauses to think.

“You know, at this rate, that scandal is probably going to be the one to get us out of debt,” Jaewon laughs. Minsoo frowns. He doesn’t want to make light of all the sacrifices Jaewon has made for their success. Jaewon has put too much of himself on the line for that kind of disrespect. He puts a hand on Jaewon’s shoulder. He’s trying to be comforting and he’s not quite sure what he’s doing. Inside of every slowburn fic, there’s a scene like this and Minsoo still doesn’t know how to react to one in real life.

“Are you okay, though? I know it’s been a lot to deal with.”

“I’m better than okay,” Jaewon smiles at him, throwing his arms in the air with a giddy laugh that feels infectious. “I’m finally free!”

“Have I released you from your chains of bondage, my prince?” Minsoo deepens his voice and kneels like some character out of a very cheesy royal romance, laughing. Jaewon picks up Minsoo’s little game, smiling in that beautiful way of his.

“You have, my glorious knight in shining white,” Jaewon giggles, taking Minsoo’s hand. “And I am very grateful to you for that.”

“I, myself, am grateful to you, Jaewon. So let’s just call it even,” Minsoo says, hugging him. Jaewon sighs happily into the hug. 

Minsoo’s heart feels warm. And he can say with complete and utter certainty that it is the best feeling ever. He watches Jaewon and he can’t help but lose his filter.

“Your eyes are so beautiful,” Minsoo tells him. “And your smile, and your voice, and your soul.” Jaewon blinks. 

“You can see my soul?”

“No, but you have to have a beautiful soul because you’re a wonderful person!” Minsoo tells him resolutely. 

“Ah! Hyung,” Jaewon laughs. “You’re very pretty too.”

“Me?”

“Prettiest!”

Jaewon calling him pretty is completely and utterly dangerous for his heart.

“You’re gonna make me blush!” Minsoo laughs. Jaewon’s eyes curl into half moons.

“Is that okay?”

Minsoo is so happy. 

“If it’s you? Of course it is.”

* * *

“What is that?” Jaewon leans over the edge of the couch Minsoo is sitting on. 

Ignoring the fact that Jaewon just gave him at least four heart attacks, this might just be the most awkward moment of his life. How does one explain to their very cute boyfriend that they read fanfics? Asking for a friend-

“It’s uh...”

“Fan... fiction?” Jaewon reads off the top of his screen. Minsoo feels clumsy and awkward, like he has to make a good impression of them on Jaewon before he assumes Minsoo was reading porn. 

“It’s sort of like... stories that people who aren’t authors write online?”

Jaewon, sweetheart that he is, just blinks and nods with understanding. 

“Like a web novel? I’ve read one or two of those!” 

Jaewon always reads in his glasses that accentuate the cuteness of his cheeks. Minsoo ought to give them a medal for their work. 

Holy shit he really is absolutely whipped. And if it was anyone else, he’d be pissed that he’s like this already. But he’s whipped for one Ahn Jaewon. How in any level of hell can someone not be whipped for his boyfriend? That being said if anyone makes a move on Jaewon, Minsoo will personally rip their arms off.

“I... guess? The difference from web novels is that fanfics are based off of something that already exists.” 

“If it’s okay... can I read one with you?” Jaewon asks. 

He’s already sitting next to Minsoo, and he’s so very cute. How can Minsoo have the heart to say no to that face? He tilts his phone so Jaewon can see the screen a bit better.

“Uh sure... this one is a coffee shop au-“

“Au? Like the symbol for gold?”

“Wha- oh, periodic table, that’s cute- but no. AU is an acronym for ‘alternate universe’ and... ah... it’s sort of like the same characters in a completely different world,” Minsoo explains. Jaewon mulls over the words before asking another question.

“Do Mayniacs write us in these... aus? I know they write about us.”

That is actually a question he can answer!

“Yeah! I saw one on my recommended list for Dongho and me as a pirate and a naval officer,” Minsoo laughs. Jaewon pauses.

“It’s not... weird to you? Like... at all?”

Ah, because the characters bear their names and are in a relationship that’s fated by the plot. And because he just talked about the concept of Dongho and himself in a relationship to his boyfriend. Minsoo shakes his head.

“To me, once someone becomes fanfiction, it’s a character based on the original- but it’s not the original. The Dongho and Minsoo in that story are not the real Kang Dongho and Lee Minsoo. They don’t know everything about us. If anything, they’re based off of the D.Min and Leader Minsoo that people see through a screen,” he explains.

“Oh,” Jaewon blinks, face reddening. Minsoo takes his hand, trying to be reassuring. He doesn’t like it when Jaewon feels uncomfortable or unwanted. He refuses to cause that.

“Their character named Minsoo is totally not me! Especially considering that the real Lee Minsoo already has someone who he’s absolutely obsessed with,” he punctuates that last point with a wink. Jaewon just stares at him, doe eyes wide. 

“Huh? Who?” 

And there is the deer in headlights look that Minsoo has come to find so adorable. He cups Jaewon’s soft cheek in his hand, relishing in the way they fit together so innocently. 

“You, Jaewonnie,” Minsoo laughs. Jaewon flushes a pretty pink and giggles. 

“Ah, hyung!” 

“You’re cute,” Minsoo laughs. “Very cute! The cutest!”

“What’s this fanfiction website called?” Jaewon changes the subject, face pink. He’s so cute, and Minsoo adores him very much. 

“I can text you a link?”

“Let’s read together, but you’re gonna have to explain a bit to me!” Jaewon leans over, putting his head on Minsoo’s shoulder. Minsoo presses a kiss to Jaewon’s forehead. The motions feel perfectly right.

“I can handle that,” he says.

* * *

“Good morning, Minsoo!” Jaewon beams from where he’s already standing in the kitchen. 

Minsoo is greeted with that beaming grin and it’s way too early for the way his heart pounds for but hey- Jaewon’s cute. He really likes Jaewon. What can he say? 

He smiles back at him. 

“Good morning, Jaewon. What’s got you so cheerful this early?”

Jaewon holds up the purple mug in his hands.

“I’m making coffee! I asked some friends to teach me how to do it the right way,” Jaewon smiles at him. He watches Jaewon as he does it, but it seems more like Jaewon is watching him.

Jaewon is staring him in the eyes as he pours the milk into the mug, artfully flicking his wrist like a barista. He’s watching Minsoo over his shoulder, almost waiting for something as he serves the coffee he insisted on making. 

“Here’s the coffee!” Jaewon chirps like a barista. 

Like a fanfiction. Jaewon is imitating a fanfic.

Minsoo fucking _chokes_.

_“Oh hell no,_ ” Dongho growls. And when did the others get in here?

Dongho grabs Daehyun by the collar, ignoring their makane’s yelp of surprise, and stuffs a black mask into his hands. 

“Hyung?”

“Not today. I don’t want to see any of this shit today.”

Whatever sort of kink that they think is going on is irrelevant. 

Minsoo has far better things to focus on. Like his adorable boyfriend, who is currently trying to flirt with him in the most roundabout way Minsoo has ever seen. And isn’t that just like him? He grins at Jaewon. Jaewon looks back at him.

“If I say that I love you a latte, will you kick me or kiss me?”

Jaewon giggles, leaning across the table to peck his cheek in reply.


End file.
